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TOP 10 THINGS JESUS CHRIST WILL NEVER SAY

 

10. “Silly Lazarus. Simon didn’t say live.”  JOHN 11:43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!"

 

9. “Yeah, I need 5000 Happy Meals. Hold the pickles please.” JOHN 6:10-11 Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." There was plenty of grass in that place, and the men sat down, about five thousand of them. 11 Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

 

  1. “Maybe we can sell some more stuff on Sunday.” JOHN 2:14-16 In the temple courts he found men selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16To those who sold doves he said, "Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!"

 

7.      No, Peter, take your time. I’ll wait for you to get your arm floats. Matthew 14:28-29 "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." 29 "Come," he said.

6.      No, sorry, I don’t have time for you. Get up and out of my way. Oh wait, right. You can’t walk! MARK 2:3-5 Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4 Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven." 

 

    5. “Hey guys help me put food coloring in this water.” JOHN 2:7-9 7 Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water"; so they filled them to the brim. 8 Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet."  They did so, 9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine.

 

   4. “You know God, I don’t believe I want to hang out today.” Luke 22:41-42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

3. “Satan, that’s a pretty deal. I’ll take it.” MATTHEW 4:10-11 Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.” 11Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

 2. “For God so loved the worl-no, not you. No, you are out. Section AA23, you’re gone, definitely not you.”  JOHN 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

AND THE NUMBER 1 THING JESUS CHRIST WILL NEVER SAY

 

1. “You just wait! I’m going home and telling my Daddy! LUKE 23:34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."